Have you lost your spark and joy in parenting? Do you feel emotionally exhausted and drained but not sure why? It may be that you have overloaded yourself with the burdens of being a mother that cause you to feel numb on the inside. Whether it be totally or partially. Do you wonder if you do enough?
Overthinking may even be hindering your capability to parent effectively. Forget all the many rules and regulations, and not even to mention comparisons. There are some basic, but important guidelines to support your Good Enough Mothering.
These are Very some guidelines that must never be broken by any Serious Parent … until, of course, you want to break them. The first rule of Rules of Effortless Parenting is that you should always break rules.
Guidelines of Enjoyable Parenting
There is really only one rule: Love Them. But you already knew that one, so let’s get into details:
1. Teach kids to be self-sufficient. Our kids started by learning how to pick up after themselves (as 1 and 2 year olds), and later learned how to feed themselves breakfast, brush their teeth and shower and dress themselves, wash dishes and clean up in the kitchen, clean their rooms, do laundry, etc. Our jobs as parents became tons easier, but it does take a little patient teaching in the beginning of each skill. Besides, chores and tasks give children purpose and meaning as well, which is great for their mental health and confidence in life.
2. Teach older kids to help with the younger kids. If you have multiple kids, this rule is golden. Our teens can help the little kids with anything. That teaches children a sense of responsibility without the risks that are not age appropriate yet.
3. Teach them to solve problems. This is really one of the main accomplishments in life. Kids don’t learn facts or even skills. They learn to solve problems on their own. If they know how to do this, they can learn any facts or skills they need to solve their problems. Want to learn how to write a computer program? That’s just another problem that you need to learn how to solve. Want to cook Thai food, or write a blog, or start a business, or build something? Problems that you can solve. And incredible skills to cultivate.
4. Show them how to be passionate. The other main thing to teach kids,, besides solving their own problems, is how to be passionate about something. If they know this, they will do work they’re passionate about as adults. How do you teach them this? By modeling it yourself. By doing projects with them where you’re passionate about something. Kids learn an amazing amount by watching and mimicking. and seeing a parent happy and content lowers inevitable anxiety that kids feel when they worry about their elders.
5. Play with them outside, and be active. Spending time with your kids is one of the best ways to show them you love them. Playing with them is one of the best ways to spend time with them. Playing outside shows them how to be active and have fun being active. Besides, nature is incredible for mental health. Try to stay active on your own, but I make sure they know what you’re doing, why, and how much fun it is. They have a role model who is healthy and fit, and that will help them for the rest of their lives.
6. Don’t overschedule. Most parents schedule too many classes, sports, parties, activities. Give your kids lots of unstructured, unscheduled time. They have to figure out what to do with that time. That’s an important skill to learn. It also means their lives are less stressed out, and they learn a slower pace of life.
7. Try not to over-dote. You know those parents that dote on everything their kids do, who are worried about every little thing their kid might touch or that might cause a fall. maybe you tend to be this way. Try to back off, and give them some space. They need attention, but they also need some time alone to explore, to fall and get back up, to scrape their knees, to figure stuff out on their own. Go do something on your own, and allow your kids to explore life in its essence.
8. Dance. Because life without dance is dull and not worth living. Play loud music. And Enjoy!.
9. Read with them, and read in front of them. Kids love books, especially if you read them with them. If you are a reader yourself, and they see that, this will teach them to love reading too. Reading is one of the best loves you can instill in kids.
10. Be inquisitive. Ask questions about everything, and encourage them to do the same. Kids are naturally inquisitive … they can ask a million questions, because everything is new to them. Learn to see the world through their eyes — it’s amazing. Why IS the sky blue? Why do leaves change color? How does a bird fly? These are brilliant questions, and you should explore them with the kids — don’t just give them answers, but show them how to find out.
Try to find your own enjoyment in all of the above. A happy parent allows for happy children Conscious Parenting you know 😉
Check out our Store for Mental Health Tools like the New-Mom Journal and the Good Enough mother Journal to facilitate mental health in your mothering experience.